Saturday, July 11, 2015

Transitions in Marriage

I think that the most important thing to remember when it comes to transitioning into marriage is to keep our priorities in check. The most important thing is the marriage itself. Not the wedding reception, ring, or presents. But the fact that two people are coming together and starting their journey to becoming one. I think that often in our society people underestimate marriage and focus in more on the less important things. The average cost of a wedding in the United States is $26,444 not including the honeymoon. The average cost of an engagement ring is $6,113. Maybe this isn't totally out of control to everybody out there in this big beautiful world, but I think that is really just far too much. There have actually been studies done to show that people who have spent $20,000 or more on an engagement ring were 3.5 times more likely to end up in divorce.
We, as a society, need to start putting first things first again. The marriage ceremony (or temple sealing) should be the main focus of weddings. Everything else is great and fun and wonderful, but secondary. I think that if our priorities were more straightened out from the get-go, we would have a lot more happy marriages.
Another important thing to consider when going into marriage is to put your partner first. Often times, when planning for a wedding, the bride to be turns straight to her mother for help with planning. It is totally fine to consult with mom and parents when planning, especially because they are probably the ones paying for it, BUT... the most important person that the bride to be should be turning to is her future husband. He should be involved with the planning. Marriage is supposed to break the parent/child bond a bit, and strengthen the husband/wife bond. This is why it is so dangerous to have such an expensive wedding. If the bride's parents are pouring thousands and thousands of dollars into a wedding, then obligations and uncomfortable situations are more likely to be created and the husband/wife bond is much more difficult to strengthen. Barriers are often created.
The wife should always turn first to her husband. The same is also true for when children come into play. Often times when a woman becomes pregnant she turns straight to her mother for help and support. It is fine to go to mom together as a husband and wife for advice and support. But when the wife starts to turn only to her mother for her main sense of support and advice, a barrier begins to be made between herself and her husband. But if she was to turn instead to her husband, then that bond is strengthened once again, and a marriage is much happier because of it. Men often feel unincluded and out of the loop when it comes to pregnancy and raising their children. Creating a sense of apathy and discouragement in the husband. Many women use the phrase, "my babies," while telling others that her husbands job is just to go out and work. This mades for a very unhappy marriage and dysfunctional family unit. The raising of children should be made by husband and wife. It is a team effort. It is a strengthening tool for marriages and families. Husbands and wives should always be united, and never use such selfish tactics. These things are extremely important to remember when transitioning into marriage.

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